What the heck is going on with my Salesforce instance?

Look, today I opened another case with Salesforce.
And honestly, I’ve been opening cases non-stop for weeks now. One thing or another, something always breaks.

The last one wasn’t fun. It was about those damn read-only pricebooks. Bad experience. If you're curious, I wrote about it here https://www.linkedin.com/posts/jonatanjumbert_salesforce-sfcc-support-activity-7313455255197773825-HJkN

But today?
Today was the total opposite.

Let me tell you what happened.

We were having some weird issues in our Development instance. Everything was slow. Like, painfully slow. You’d click something in Business Manager, like “Customers” or “Orders,” and boom:
“Oops, something went wrong.”
Reload button. Blank stare. Deep sigh.

This also happened yesterday. And I think the week before too. I was getting suspicious. Something wasn’t right.

So I opened a case with Salesforce.
I told them: “Hey, we’re experiencing some major issues. Can you take a look?”

They replied in under 30 seconds, which sounds impressive, but then came the classic:
“We noticed you deployed a new code version yesterday. Could you roll it back and see if that helps?”

And I was like… really?

Then another one:
“Can you confirm this, this, and this?”

Basically, they just repeated everything I had already told them. Not helpful.

Still, I answered their questions, patiently.
Then I got a call.

Yes, a real phone call.

A guy from Salesforce said, “Hey, this might be quicker over the phone. Or even better — can we jump on a quick video call?”

I said sure. Why not.

On the call, he explained what was going on.

Ready for this?

Turns out, we had a security audit running on our Dev environment.
But this wasn’t your usual “check-the-box” security audit.
Nope.

This thing was wild.
More like a denial-of-service attack than a friendly little security test.

At 9:30 AM, our Dev Business Manager was hit with 50,000 requests. In one minute.
The Storefront? Around 100,000 over a couple of hours.
They were even hammering images — like, a ton of them per second.

No wonder the whole thing was choking.

And yes, they asked if I had tried restarting the instance.
Which I hadn’t, because the audit team was still running their tests.

Also — side story — I had lost access to the Control Center. I couldn’t even restart anything if I wanted to.

So I used the same ticket to ask about that.
Two problems, one case. Win-win.

And guess what?
They solved both.

The performance issue? Fixed.
The Control Center access? Back in place.

So yeah — this time, hats off.
Fast, efficient, and super helpful.

Not every case goes this smooth, but when it does... it deserves a shout-out.